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- New-situation loneliness. You’ve moved to a new city where you don’t know anyone, or you’ve started a new job, or you’ve started at a school full of unfamiliar faces.
- I’m-different loneliness. You’re in a place that’s not unfamiliar, but you feel different from other people in an important way that makes you feel isolated.
- No-sweetheart loneliness. Even if you have lots of family and friends, you feel lonely because you don’t have the intimate attachment of a romantic partner.
- No-animal loneliness. Many people have a deep need to connect with animals. If this describes you, you’re sustained by these relationships in a way that human relationships don’t replace.
Learn the meaning of lonely as an adjective and an adverb, and how to use it in different contexts. Find synonyms, antonyms, idioms, and translations of lonely in various languages.
- Overview
- Acknowledge That You're Feeling Alone
- Develop a Plan
- Connect With People From Your Past
- Join a Group or Club
- Read a Book
- Find an Online Forum
- Learn Something New
- Engage in a Hobby
- Perform an Act of Kindness
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Feeling alone is a normal, human experience. You can feel lonely when you're by yourself or even when you’re in a room full of people. When you don’t feel connected with anyone or you feel like no one understands you, you might feel as though you are completely alone even if you’re around friends or family.
You might also wonder, "Why am I alone?" Causes of loneliness include life changes that lead to social isolation, like moving to a new place, grieving a death, or the end of a relationship. In some cases, loneliness is linked with mental health conditions like depression. People with low self-esteem may also tend to feel lonely if they struggle to make social connections.
While everyone feels lonely at times, being alone too much can negatively affect your physical and emotional health. Studies have found that loneliness can be just as harmful to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. Loneliness is also linked with cognitive decline and the risk of developing major psychiatric disorders.
Whether you occasionally feel a little lonely when you’re at home by yourself or you experience a deep sense of loneliness that never goes away, it’s important to address loneliness in a healthy way. Here are 10 things you can do right away when you feel lonely.
Are You Feeling Lonely? Take the Free Loneliness Test
Don’t waste your energy fighting your feelings or trying to suppress your emotions. Everyone feels lonely sometimes.
And feeling alone doesn’t mean you’re a loser and it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It just means you’re human.
Sometimes you need to solve a problem. At other times, you need to solve how you feel about the problem.
Consider whether the best way to address feeling alone should involve solving the problem (by connecting with someone) or solving how you feel about the problem (taking care of your emotions).
If you are feeling lonely on a Friday night and you have friends or family members you could call, you might decide the best way to tackle the issue is to reach out to someone. You might find that talking on the phone helps. Or, you might invite someone to spend time with you.
If you reach out to people and no one responds, you might feel even lonelier. But, then you’ll know to tackle the problem from a different angle: Address how you feel about being lonely, rather than trying to connect with someone.
You might choose to engage in a healthy coping strategy that allows you to feel better. Drawing, knitting, or gardening are just a few examples of solitary activities that might help you deal with your loneliness in a healthy way.
18 Things to Do on Your Birthday When You're Alone
When you are feeling alone, sometimes it’s easier to connect with old friends than it is to make new ones. Perhaps you lost touch with your college roommate over the years. Or maybe you have a cousin that you just don’t talk to very often.
You might reach out and see how they’re doing. Talk about how you’ve missed being able to catch up and say that you’d like to reconnect.
You may find it’s easy to connect with former classmates, people from your old neighborhood, or previous co-workers because you already have things in common. Reminiscing about old times may help you connect again and you might find that you’re able to establish a relationship moving forward.
It's okay to each out to people over social media or text message to start. But try to follow up by connecting over the phone, via video chat, or in person. Connecting face-to-face might help alleviate your loneliness more than messaging.
In addition to connecting with people from your past, you might decide to connect with new people, too. Look for community activities that might be a good fit for you. From book clubs and community service projects to hiking groups and business societies, you will likely discover there are many ways to connect with people in your area.
You might check your local newspaper or try a website like Meetup to see what is going on in your community. Attend an event and make it a priority to talk to several people. You might find that attending a few different events or joining a couple of different clubs helps you meet more people.
Reading a book when you are feeling alone helps you get inside the head of characters or narrators. It’ll help you understand how other people think and it can help you feel more connected.
You might want to read a book you wouldn’t normally reach for sometimes, too. Whether that means checking a self-help book out from the library or it means listening to a science-fiction audiobook, books can expand your world and help you feel a little less lonely.
One of the many wonderful things about the internet is that you can connect with people from all over the world. You can find people with similar interests, problems, and goals with a few clicks of a button.
You might look for forums where people discuss topics that you’re interested in—from rare collections to unsolved mysteries to movies or TV shows. You might find that talking to other people about things you feel passionate about or topics you enjoy helps you feel more connected—even if you’ve never met them in person.
Getting excited about something you’re learning—whether it’s a new language or a new skill—might help when you are feeling alone. It also might open up doors to meeting new people.
Sign up for a cooking class or take karate. Or look for an online course you can take. Websites like Udemy offer affordable courses in subjects ranging from fitness to graphic design.
Creative outlets can boost your mood and help you live in the moment. That means fewer catastrophic thoughts about “being alone forever” and less dwelling on negative incidents from the past such as, “I can’t believe she said that to me.”
If you don’t have any hobbies, make it a priority to find one. Experiment with different activities, from fishing to pottery, until you discover things that you love.
Doing something nice for other people can help you feel better. It may also help you feel more connected to the community.
Whether you get involved in an official community fundraiser or do a kind deed for a neighbor, there are many acts of kindness you could perform. If you’re struggling to find something you can do, you might contact local charities, hospitals, nursing homes, or animal shelters to see how you could volunteer or offer assistance.
Jul 15, 2022 · Take stock of connections you already have. Sometimes when we are feeling lonely, we can't see what's right in front of us. "Many of us get tunnel vision when it comes to affection and intimacy...
- Senior Editor
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- Cathy Cassata
- Reassess thinking and regain hope. You can practice seeing things from a different perspective or associate them with positive emotions. For example, you can treat alone time as an opportunity to grow, reflect, and connect with yourself.
- Practice self-compassion. To combat feelings of loneliness and learn to be happy alone, Magavi suggests partaking in activities focused on self-compassion.
- Journal your thoughts and feelings. Recounting fun-filled memories in a journal can help bring joy to your life. “Individuals could write a gratitude letter, which outlines all the things they love about themselves,” suggested Magavi.
- Reach out to old friends. Connecting with friends with whom you lost touch can help alleviate feelings of loneliness. “Hellen Keller’s words of wisdom, ‘I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light,’ emphasizes the significance of friendship in dissipating the sense of loneliness, which life often brings to our doorsteps,” said Magavi.
Apr 14, 2021 · Being alone doesn't have to mean feeling lonely. The next time loneliness strikes, give one of these 13 tips a try.
May 18, 2023 · Feeling lonely is a common experience, but it doesn't have to be permanent. By trying out different strategies like connecting with others online, practicing self-care, and volunteering, you can...
