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Aug 18, 2022 · Intimacy refers to a level of closeness where you feel validated and safe. In relationships, four types of intimacy are key: emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. If you feel you fear ...
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May 28, 2020 · Learn how different attachment styles (anxious or avoidant) influence people's preferences and perceptions of intimate touch in relationships. Find out how touch frequency, routine affection, and gender play a role in touch satisfaction and marital happiness.
- Overview
- Types of Intimacy in Relationships
- Obstacles to Intimacy
- Impact of Intimacy
- How to Build Intimacy in Relationships
- A Word From Verywell
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Intimacy is a feeling of closeness and connection in an interpersonal relationship. It is an essential part of intimate relationships, but it also plays an important role in other relationships with friends, family members, and other acquaintances.
The word intimacy is derived from the Latin word "intimus," which means 'inner' or 'innermost.' In most romance languages, the word for intimate refers to a person's innermost qualities. Intimacy allows people to bond with each other on many levels. Therefore, it is a necessary component of healthy relationships.
This article covers the different types of intimacy and how you can create more of it in your relationship.
Physical Intimacy
While a hug or holding a hand are both examples of physical intimacy, this type is most commonly used in reference to sex. And while sex is important in relationships, you can also demonstrate physical intimacy through kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and skin-to-skin touching. While these small physical shows of affection may seem mundane, they can help you and your partner cultivate a feeling of closeness.
Emotional Intimacy
Emotional intimacy can be one of the most critical factors of a relationship. It is characterized by being able to share your deepest, most personal feelings with another person. When people experience this type of intimacy, they feel safe and secure enough to share and know that they will be understood, affirmed, and cared for. Examples of emotional intimacy include having conversations about what you both want in the future, talking about things that you are worried about, and discussing a stressful event at work and being comforted.
Intellectual Intimacy
This type of intimacy involves being able to share ideas, opinions, questions, and other thoughts with another person. You might not agree on everything, but you enjoy challenging each other and are able to consider the other person's perspective. Talking about a book you have read and comparing your reactions is an example of intellectual intimacy in a relationship.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but sometimes certain obstacles can make intimacy difficult. Or a previously strong sense of intimacy might gradually fade without proper nourishment.
Some problems that can impair intimacy include:
•Conflict: It can be challenging to feel intimacy when you are always arguing with the other person. Feelings of resentment, anger, and lack of trust can make it more challenging to feel connected and close to that person.
•Stress: Life stress caused by work, illness, finances, children, and other issues can also chip away at a couple's intimacy.
•Communication problems: It's hard to feel close when you struggle to articulate your feelings and needs. Talking to your partner and listening to what they have to say is essential for building and maintaining intimacy.
•Fear of intimacy: Sometimes, people experience a fear of intimacy, often caused by past experiences or traumas, that make it difficult to form meaningful connections with other people.
Intimacy is essential in a relationship because it forms a basis for connection and communication. It ensures that each person feels understood, allows them to be themselves, and ensures that each person gets the care and comfort that they need. Other significant effects include:
•Increased sexual desire: Research has found that in long-term romantic relationships, couples that experience more emotional intimacy also experience higher levels of sexual desire and sexual activity.
•Greater relationship satisfaction: Couples with greater intimacy tend to be more satisfied with their relationships.
•Better physical health: People in intimate relationships tend to have better physical well-being. One study found that being in a happy relationship influenced health to the same magnitude as diet and exercise and lowered the risk of chronic illness and death.
Improve Physical Intimacy
When it comes to sex, a part of intimacy is feeling safe enough with your partner to share your likes and dislikes. Make sure that you are asking for the same information from your partner. This way, you can facilitate a safe environment where you both feel comfortable sharing your deepest thoughts and desires. Remember that increasing your physical intimacy isn't always about having more sex. If you're too tired for sex or talking, try cuddling on the couch.
Increase Emotional Intimacy
To cultivate emotional intimacy, take time to listen to and share with your partner each day. Also, make notes of special moments or things that remind you of your partner so that you can let them know you're thinking about them. Studies have shown that self-disclosure can build feelings of intimacy in marriages, which will make your bond stronger. A big part of intimacy is sharing your thoughts and feelings honestly and listening to your partner when they do the same. Put down the electronics, even if it's just during a meal or while you and your spouse watch a show together. Indeed, make sure to do this if your partner is talking to you about their day or an experience.
Deep Experiential Intimacy
If you're looking to deepen your experiential intimacy, this is an excellent time to book a trip or try out a fun new date spot or activity in your city. Attempt to learn something new about your partner. Plan a trip to a place neither of you has been. It's fun to experience new things for the first time. It will also give you a sense of shared history and experience. Even something as simple as a weekly date night can be a great way to foster increased experiential intimacy in your relationship.
Whether you've just started dating someone or you've been together for years, intimacy plays a vital role in your relationships. Know that it can take time if your relationship is still new, but it's worth the work that it takes to go through new experiences together.
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7 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
1.Sexton R.E., Sexton V.S. (1982) Intimacy. In: Fischer M., Stricker G. (eds) Intimacy. Springer, Boston, MA.
2.Sinclair VG, Dowdy SW. Development and Validation of the Emotional Intimacy Scale. Journal of Nursing Measurement . 13(3).
Apr 4, 2022 · emotional intimacy: a deep feeling of closeness and trust. physical intimacy: includes touching in a way that enhances feelings of closeness and desire. sexual intimacy: combines the physical act...
Sep 14, 2016 · With little intimate contact, lives are often emotionally impoverished. With no intimacy, depression or instability is likely to loom. In Robert Sternberg's triad of love—passion, intimacy,...
Oct 14, 2022 · Many relationships, such as friendships and parent/child relationships, may be intimate. And then, there are intimate romantic relationships that may require a few extra conditions.
Jan 18, 2024 · As you read through this list, you probably noticed that it starts (and ends) in very nonsexual ways. Only two of the six elements of intimate sexuality involve physical contact with your...
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